Why I go to Utah State and not BYU

No, I am not going to dis on BYU it is a good school. Academically it's in my opinion one of the best. It's basketball team has done so well this year that it even cancels out how poorly the football team did.
All I am going to comment about is why I am glad I am here at Utah State and not at BYU.
This idea popped in my head today as I turned in a 8 page literature review to one of my professors.
Reason 1: I also added a handwritten note to the paper right before I turned it in. The note read:
"Dear Professor if it is not obvious by the content of this paper, I just want to inform you that I was on drugs when I wrote this. The next draft will be better I promise"
(If you didn't know this I recently had surgery and was prescribed drugs so everything was according to the word of wisdom.)
I fill completely comfortable writing a joke like that on a pretty important assignment here at Utah State.
I wonder how it would have been accepted at BYU.
Reason 2. BYU is not allowed to worship false idols like their own basketball players. At Utah State we don't just worship the players and the coach we reverence the most unruly and offensive fans and strive to be like them. (except we don't strive to look like them)

Meet Wild Bill the most popular kid on campus.
Reason 3: This excerpt from the Utah State's event calendar will explain it all.

"20,000 bouncy balls dropped from a helicopter!! What? No, you read it right, we will be dropping 20,000 bouncy balls from about 100 ft in the air onto the stadium parking lot just west of the Student Wellness Center. Why? First off because it is the coolest thing we could think of to do..."
I am glad to see my tuition dollars hard at work. At least it is my tuition dollars and not tithing dollars.